Bestselling author James Scott Bell loaded TRY DYING with fresh emotion, fresh nonverbal communication, and fresh writing.   His dialogue is crisp and lean.  He uses what I call Dialogue Runs to create a fast-paced read.  Here’s a sample of the psychological power found in TRY DYING.

The protagonist has been knocked out and he comes to, not knowing where he is.  Chapter 23 opens with these lines:

A rusty saw was cutting my brain in half.  I was groaning.  And moving.

Or being moved.

From a faraway place somebody said Okay?

Darkness.  I was on my back.  In a car.

SEVERAL LINES LATER, HE’S TALKING TO THE DRIVER:

Possibilities started to form like crystals on frozen glass, patterned but not making immediate sense.  But I was sure it couldn’t be good.

“Let me out,” I said.

“Hey man, you’re hurt.  You gotta--”

“Drop me.”

“Listen, you don’t want to be dropped.  Not out here.”

I made myself sit up.  It was like pushing a laundry bag with a stick.  I gripped my head, trying to keep the halves in place.

ANALYSIS:  What makes that passage a quick read, a strong read?  Succinct dialogue.  Natural sounding dialogue.  Short, punchy sentences.  Sentence fragments.  Only one attribution (said) in this interchange.  Lots of white space.

James Scott Bell sprinkled power internalizations in the dialogue run.  Effective.  And –he doesn’t take the easy route (cliché alert) and have the POV character say how he’s feeling.  He shows us – then gives us a fresh simile (possibilities like crystals).

Fresh writing?  You bet.  He took the brain-cut–in-half piece and carried it forward by having the protagonist grip his head trying to keep the halves in place.   Well done.

Every page of TRY DYING shows writers how to write well.  James Scott Bell is a master of writing craft.  He wrote PLOT AND STRUCTURE, a how-to-book for writers that I recommend.  Read his books, analyze them.  You’ll learn how to add more power to your writing.