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| In This Issue: | August, 2010 |
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Pre-Flight Check In: Your Annual Inspection
1. How-to Author Blog Features Tami Cowden 2. Immersion Master Classes for Sept. and Oct. 3. Colorado Gold Conference, Denver 4. Emerald City Writers' Conference, Seattle 5. Heart of Denver Mini-Conference 6. Write At Sea Cruise: Deep Editing Power
Add Power and Take Off with a Deep Editing Analysis: Jeanne Stein, CHOSEN Mileage Points Upgrade: Booking Workshops, Master Classes, Keynotes |
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| Pre-Flight Check In: Your Annual Inspection | |
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Every plane has an examine-everything inspection each year. Every square inch, every nut and bolt, every wire and connection are scrutinized. The inspection is time-consuming and tedious. And it saves lives. Consider conducting your annual inspection the week before and after Labor Day. Summer is over and it's time to dig in, make your writing stronger, meet your goals, move your writing career forward. Check your: -- Motivation -- Are you fully charged? Refuelling before your tank is dry? -- Flight Plan -- Where are you going? -- Flight Crew -- Do you have all the resources and support you need? -- Navigation System -- Are you on course? Rough weather ahead? Have enough fuel to get to a Plan B destination? -- Flight Path -- Are you pushing too hard, trying to gain altitude too fast? Aack! You may lose momentum. You could stall. And dive. And crash. Pull back on your power. Shoot for a steady, reasonable climb. Enjoy the flight and the view. Don't forget your annual inspection. Keep your writing career primed for success. |
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| Flight Review | |
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RWA National: Fun, fabulous, and ferociously fast. Enjoy these having-a-good-time smiles with all these Margie-graduates!
Kelsey Browning, Adrienne Giordano, and Tracey Devlyn are the brains behind the Romance University blog, and they're as brilliant as they are stunning. All are multi-Margie-grads -- and Tracey and Adrienne are Immersion grads too. Tracey Devlyn is celebrating her first contract, a three-book deal. Yay Tracey!
The MayMersion Acting Troupe (Immersion grads from May, 2010) joined me during my workshop at RWA national to perform emergency surgery on Raggedy Andy.
The MayMersion Mavens: First Row, Left to Right: Heather Long, Nikki Duncan, Courtney Kaul; Back Row, Left to Right: Tracey Devlyn, Tricia Wood, Adrienne Giordano, me (in a half-crouch), Peg Colyar.
Thanks to the MayMersion Mavens, Deep Editing Surgery saved Raggedy Andy and his manuscript. :-)
Chatting, chatting, chatting--fun-loving authors (and Margie-grads) Robin Kaye and Elaine Levine.
I also got to join multi-Margie-grad Vannetta Chapman to celebrate her two new contracts. Woohoo!
More congratulations! Big time KUDOS to Immersion Master Class graduates Ann Fisher and Linda Baxter! Can't wait to see them again at Silicon Valley RWA in February. :-))
Two Golden Heart Winners! Check out the winning smiles of Golden Heart Winners Angi Morgan and Liz Selvig!
I caught up with uber-prolific and uber-successful, Pamela Palmer. She's a multi-award-winner, and another multi-Margie-grad. Kudos to Pamela Palmer!
If you're a Margie-grad (on-line classes, live Master Classes, Immersion Master Classes), please e-mail me and share your writing kudos! Send me a picture too. I'd love to post your accomplishments and pictures on my web site. Thank you. |
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| Flight Planning | |
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SIX FLIGHT PLANS! FIRST: How-To Author Features Tami Cowden Tami Cowden co-authored THE COMPLETE GUIDE TO WRITING HEROES & HEROINES: Sixteen Master Archetypes. Drop by my blog and check out her interview.
SECOND: Immersion Master Classes Are you interested in adding psychological power to your manuscript, giving it a boost toward publication or a bestseller list?
More Immersion class pictures are on the home page of my web site.
The September session is full. I have two openings in the session that runs October 7 - 11. If you're interested, e-mail me ASAP!
Would you like to learn more about my Deep Editing Immersion Master Classes in Colorado? Click here, and smile! THIRD: Colorado Gold Conference Presented by Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers September 10 - 12 The Colorado Gold Conference is a three-day conference that boasts a dozen editors and agents--and fifty-plus workshops. I'm offering two workshops: -- Rhythm and Cadence and Beats, Oh my! -- Visceral Rules . . . And Everything Adrenaline Driven
FOURTH: Emerald City Writers' Conference! Presented by Greater Seattle Chapter RWA October 1 - 3, 2010 Join me for a four hour Master Class on Empowering Characters' Emotions before the conference on October 1st. I'm presenting workshops at the conference too.
FIFTH: Heart of Denver's All-Day Mini-Conference October 23rd Featuring Randy Ingermanson and agent Christine Witthohn! A full day of learning from a master writing teacher--and an opportunity to connect with Christine Witthohn, who is looking for commercial and women's fiction, mysteries, thrillers, and YA. Seven months until I'll be teaching on a WRITE AT SEA cruise! Want to take a four day cruise, with two full days of Deep Editing Power Master Classes? The cruise departs from Miami on Thursday, March 24th, visits Key West and Cozumel, then has a day at sea before returning to Miami on Monday, March 28th. By the end of the cruise, participants will have honed their deep editing skills, learned how to write fresh body language and dialogue cues, and added psychological power to their WIP. They will be closer to winning a contest, getting a contract, or claiming a spot on a bestseller list. Write At Sea Cruises are organized by Julia Hunter. Join us for this amazing Write At Sea Master Class cruise!
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| Add Power and Take Off with a Deep Editing Analysis! |
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Jeanne Stein, CHOSEN Jeanne Stein's writing and story-telling is powerful. As powerful as her protagonist Anna Strong's vampiric powers. As powerful as these reviews:
“There are more books about young female vampires...but it’s safe to say Anna Strong is contending for leader of the pack.”—The Denver Post
If vampire books aren't typically on your reading list, keep in mind that Anna Strong isn't your typical vampire. In the opening of THE BECOMING (book one) Anna is human. Anna struggles with her human/vampire values, dilemmas, friends, family, foes, and future throughout the series--creating dynamite conflicts and compelling reading.
Now, we'll dive into analyzing some examples from CHOSEN, the sixth book in the Anna Strong Chronicles. Excerpt: There is so much malice in his tone, the realization hits me like a physical blow. I wish it were physical. I wish he would hit me. Yell. Scream. Get it out of his system. No physical injury could be more painful than Culebra’s hostility. Don’t be too sure, vampire. He leans toward me. His tone is dry, vibrates in the back of his throat like the warning sound of a rattler before it strikes. The animal in me responds to the threat. I tense, take a wary step forward, two predators sniffing each other out. Analysis: Two Dialogue Cues, both are used as a stimulus: 1. malice in tone, hits like physical blow 2, tone is dry, vibrates like rattler, Anna is wary, tenses . . . Power Words: malice, physical, blow, physical, hit, yell, scream, physical, injury, painful, hostility, warning, rattler, strikes, threat, tense, wary, predators Backloading: blow, physical, yell, scream, hostility, vampire, strikes, threat Cadence: Read it out loud. You'll hear the power. Feel the power. More Examples of Dialogue Cues:
Analysis: A dialogue cue from the POV character. It's placed in front of the dialogue to cue the reader regarding how to interpret the subtext of the dialogue. Two Emotional Hits: touch and dialogue cue Cadence: Read both versions below out loud. The way I rewrote it: I put a hand on his arm and sincerity in my voice. “You can tell me more tonight when we go to Avery’s.” The way Jeanne Stein wrote it: I put a hand on his arm, sincerity in my voice. “You can tell me more tonight. When we go to Avery’s.” For me, Jeanne's way sounds more natural. More compelling. WHY? What made it sound better? What if she'd written it like this? I touched his arm and tried to sound sincere. “You can tell me more about it tonight when we're at Avery’s house.” Subconsciously, beats count. Tighten your deep editing seat belt. Did you count the beats? I did. :-)) Now it's your turn. Count the beats in the first two phrases and the last two sentences. I put a hand on his arm, sincerity in my voice. “You can tell me more tonight. When we go to Avery’s.” I'm waiting. I'm humming the Jeopardy music. Yay! Now you know. They each carry seven beats. WOW. Seven beats. Seven beats. Seven beats. Seven beats. I bet Jeanne Stein is surprised. I bet she did not count beats. I bet her CADENCE EAR knew what sounded right.
NO! Not necessarily. Train your Cadence Ear. Trust your Cadence Ear. Read your work out loud and pay attention to cadence. Tweak the cadence until your sentences, paragraphs, and passages carry psychological power.
Moving on - - - More Dialogue Cues: While his speech isn’t slurred exactly, he speaks as if his tongue is too big and too heavy for his mouth. Analysis: Fresh and fun. The details, specificity, triggers a powerful association for the reader. Even out of context, the reader gets it. That character is in some type of altered state. Drugs? Alcohol? Under a spell? No intimidation in his voice this time. Only confusion and fear. Analysis: Ah -- the power of dialogue cues. The reader knows the character lost confidence. They went from intimidating to fearful. Jeanne Stein used one of the techniques I teach: showing-what's-not-happening. Pointing out the character wasn't intimidating anymore, but was confused and afraid. One more excerpt with Dialogue Cues. Next I call David. His sleepy voice reminds me that it’s only a little after seven and why am I calling so early? In the background, an equally sleepy female voice asks who it is. Except I realize it’s not sleep I’m hearing in her voice. When David asks again in a husky, slightly winded tone why I’m calling, it dawns on me that it’s not sleep I interrupted. That example shares dialogue cues, but no dialogue: -- his sleepy voice, an equally sleepy female voice, it's not sleep I'm hearing in her voice, a husky, slightly winded tone Readers know what David and the female have been doing. :-) EYES and LOOKS: These gems don't require my analysis. Read, analyze, and enjoy. Frey fixes me with the same kind of look that I used to get from Williams. I didn’t like it then, I don’t like it now. Still, I hold my tongue and wait for the answer. Her eyes sweep the room, appraising, assessing, taking measure of how I live. Her expression remains detached. Even when she feels my eyes on her, she does not react except to meet my gaze with her own. He closes his eyes a moment in what looks like an attempt to control his exasperation and pushes past her.
I let Chael see the glimmer of satisfaction on my face. You have made a grave mistake. You may have had a thousand years to acquire wisdom, but your arrogance has clouded your judgment.
For the first time, he looks into my face, really looks into my face, and the realization that he may have made an error cracks his smug mask of confidence.
Yay Anna! It's near the end of the book. Anna Strong is strategic and strong. :-) Analysis: Anna is vampire. She allows Chael to see that she's pleased. Chael thought he'd set up a no-win challenge for her. She's communicating with Chael mind-to-mind. In the second paragraph Jeanne repeated a phrase for emphasis: For the first time, he looks into my face, really looks into my face, and the realization that he may have made an error cracks his smug mask of confidence. Powerful! Note the Power Words: grave, wisdom, arrogance, clouded, judgment, error, crack, smug, mask, confidence ANAPHORA: If you've taken my editing courses on-line, or reviewed the Lecture Packets, This creature in his finely tailored suit is not anyone’s friend. This creature is not simply a vampire. This creature is evil.
Note: The first two share what the creature is not. The last one shares what the creature is. And, the anaphora is backloaded with evil. If you've taken my DEEP EDITING course, you'll know this next example is what I call a SAP. Self-preservation and fury swamp restraint. SAP -- Short and Powerful. The writer cuts to the power. I could keep going and going and going, sharing dozens of stellar examples. Here's the next to last one: Brianna’s façade of bereaved lover slips a little as her anger surfaces. It allows me a moment to penetrate her mental barrier, see the truth that flares and is suppressed in the time it takes for our hearts to beat once, twice. Analysis: Quintessential Jeanne Stein. Smooth and gripping. An oh-so-elegant and enlightening example of what I call flicker-face emotion But the flicker-face emotion is set up as a stimulus/response. Note the phrasing, the imagery, the cadence, the power words. I'll wrap up with an AMPLIFIED CLICHE TWIST: I think Frey is close to jumping off the sanity cliff, and Culebra is right there teetering on the brink with him. Jeanne twisted and amplified a cliche, shared Frey's and Culebra's fragile emotional states, and presented it to the reader in a hit of humor. Jeanne Stein's novels always deliver a full psychologically-powered read. CHOSEN will be released on August 31st. Enjoy! |
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| Dare Devil Dachshund Contest! | |
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The Dare Devil Dachshund Contest! Find the Dare Devil Dachshund on my web site and you could win my EDITS System Power Pack. The Power Pack includes goodies I mail you, plus an hour of my deep editin Take a sec and read how to enter this monthly contest. You could be the next Dare Devil Dachshund Contest Winner! A huge THANK YOU to uber-talented professional cartoonist (The Middletons, Bound & Gagged) and thriller writer, Dana Summers, for the Dare Devil Dachshund Cartoons. Creativity unleashed! |
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| Mileage Points Upgrade: Booking Workshops, Master Classes, Keynotes | |
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If you are looking for a speaker for a half-day, full day, two full days or more, or a workshop presenter and keynote speaker, please contact me. I present five full-day Master Classes, your-choice keynote speeches, and 40+ one and two-hour workshops.
For more information, contact Margie. The next editing class I teach on-line is in March, 2011. Lecture Packets are available for all my courses through Paypal ($22 per course) from my web site. Please click here to read descriptions and order. |
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| Smooth Landings | |
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Smooth landings require planning and team support. I encourage you all to take the time to THANK YOUR MULTIPLE TEAMS who make your landings smooth. I thank all the amazing people who contributed to my smooth landings this summer. I thank my web designer, web fixer, and good friend, Lisa Norman . . . for being my everything. I thank the MayMersion Acting Troupe (May, 2010, Immersion class: Peg Colyar, Tracey Devlyn, Nikki Duncan, Adrienne Giordano, Heather Long, Courtney Kaul, Tricia Wood) who put their time, creative energy, and wackiness, into a Deep Editing Surgery skit for my workshop at RWA National. You all rock! I thank the August, 2010, Immersion class (Miriam Allenson, Betty Booher, Mike Bourn, Angela Foster, Maggie Jamieson, Cindy Kiel, Usha Menon) for their fortitude and support. Can't wait to see you all in IMC-2 in January! Thank you, thank you, thank you to all. May you all have the smoothest of landings. Heartfelt hugs.....................Margie |
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Register for one of these hands-on, deep editing, three-day immersion sessions in my home at the top of a Colorado mountain. Immersion class participants stay at a lodge next to my home.
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“Anna Strong lives up to her name: equally tenacious and vulnerable, she’s a heroine with the charm, savvy, and intelligence that fans of Laurell K. Hamilton and Kim Harrison will be happy to root for.”—Publishers Weekly
I put a hand on his arm, sincerity in my voice. “You can tell me more tonight. When we go to Avery’s.”
Am I recommending that writers count beats and make them match?
Check out the power in these facial expressions. It's two paragraphs.
you know this rhetorical device. Anaphora -- repeating the same word or phrase to kick off three phrases or sentences in a row. Sometimes more than three in a row. 
g brain!
I love a good time--and presenting workshops and keynotes is always fun for me.
Margie's Newsletter
The Buzz About Margie
When I first sent my manuscript to a freelance editor, she said: "This novel has no emotion. You need to take Margie Lawson's class." So I took your class, right? Then, this week I just got it back again from a different freelance editor and the first thing she said was, "I'm glad to see a lot of emotion in this story. That's one thing that I get the most frustrated with in the many pieces I've critiqued.
Favorite Quote:
The difference between the right word and the almost right word is really a large matter—it’s the difference between a lightning bug and the lightning.
