Welcome

Bestselling Margie Grad,

Jeanne Stein!

CROSSROADS,

7th in the Anna Strong Chronicles

I'm proud to feature one of my long-time critique siblings, Jeanne Stein, on the Pubbed Margie Grad Blog. Jeanne is the bestselling author of the Urban Fantasy series, The Anna Strong Chronicles. The first book in her popular series is THE BECOMING. The 7th book in the series, CROSSROADS, was released in August. Jeanne has short stories in several anthologies, including .

It's my joy to critique Jeanne's work. Her writing is as fresh and compelling as her stories. Trust me. Once you meet Anna Strong on the page, you'll find her living in your heart. And she's a vampire, she'll live in your heart forever.  :-)

From RT Book Reviews: Crossroads 4 ½ Stars. Stein continues to challenge her gutsy heroine, both emotionally and    physically…Another for your must-read pile!

Anna Strong: 2008 Romantic Times Reviewer’s Choice Award for Best Urban Fantasy Protagonist

Chosen: 2010 Romantic Times Reviewer’s Choice Nominee for Best Urban Fantasy

Excerpt from CROSSROADS

Set Up: Anna and Frey are on a road trip that might change both of their lives. Anna is mad that Frey knows every detail about her life, but she doesn’t know anything about his. And he isn’t sharing.

From Anna Strong:

“I’m sorry about Leyla. I’m sorry I didn’t call to check in with you sooner. I’m sorry if my life keeps screwing up yours. If I could change any of it, I would. Maybe that’s what this trip is about. Maybe if things work out, I will be out of your life forever and you can go back to Leyla. She won’t have me to blame anymore for your problems and you can go back to your safe, stupid, boring existence.”

When the tirade passes, I swivel away from him on the seat and wait for Frey to unload on me.  He should. He has every right to. My body tenses, every muscle steeling itself to receive the verbal blow I deserve.

Nothing happens.

I steal a sideways glance. Frey is staring straight ahead, his knuckles still stiff on the steering wheel, his face pale.

Another moment passes. Then, slowly, he brings his seat to an upright position. He looks over at me. At first, his mouth is drawn in a tight line, his brow furrowed into deep, angry grooves. As I watch, his expression shifts. Like ice cream melting, the lines smooth, the mouth turns up instead of down. His shoulders start to shake.

Frey begins to laugh.

A laugh so hard it doubles him over.

A laugh so hard, tears run down his cheek.

A laugh so hard it casts a net that catches me up and before I realize it, I’m laughing like an idiot right along with him. I can’t say why. I don’t really care why. Letting go is such a fucking relief.

Our laughter echoes across the still night air and bounces off the rock citadels around us. We’re howling like moon-crazed wolves, lifting our faces to the sky.  For the first time in weeks, I feel something loosening deep within me. A knot finally cut. A fist suddenly open.

I feel hopeful.

Deep Editing Analysis

Jeanne used anaphora twice: I'm sorry . . . , I'm sorry . . . , I'm sorry . . . , and, A laugh so hard . . . , A laugh so hard . . . , A laugh so hard . . . .

Both work well, and no problem using anaphora twice that close together. NYT bestsellers do.

Notice the stand alone lines. Notice all the WHITE SPACE.

Notice that Jeanne shows what Anna expects to happen, but it doesn't happen. That's an example of showing what's not happening. It's an advanced Deep Editing technique.

Jeanne also EXPANDED TIME. She shows Frey moving the seat up, then gives the reader details on how his facial expression changes, and she leads us into their shared laughter . . . and relief. Loved that fresh simile with the melting ice cream.

If you highlighted that excerpt with my EDITS System, you'd notice that Jeanne slipped in some setting when she described the laughter.

Our laughter echoes across the still night air and bounces off the rock citadels around us.

The way Jeanne structured the sentences below boosts the cadence. Read it out loud. Your Cadence Ear will be happy.

For the first time in weeks, I feel something loosening deep within me. A knot finally cut. A fist suddenly open.

I feel hopeful.

Margie Grads:  Does Jeanne have any visceral responses in that excerpt?  If so, what are they?

What function do visceral responses serve?

1. What’s your writing process?

I try to write everyday, five days a week, at least 2.000 words. Often, when I’m in the zone, I write on weekends, too. But I find taking a break refreshes me and gives ideas time to percolate.

Pantser? Plotter?

Both. I start with a basic premise, idea or character I want to use. Make some notes, sometimes a brief (very brief) synopsis. But then I let the story unfold. Often my original notes don’t even get used, or are modified until they’re unrecognizable

Dirty first draft? Edit as you go?

As you know (since you’re a part of it), I have a great critique group. I bring pages as I go but generally even meeting once a week, I often get ahead of the group. Then I forego the weekly submissions and submit fifty or so pages at a time. Still, once the book is done, there a re more read-throughs. I think the editing process is NEVER really done.

Do you strive to complete a first draft in a certain time frame?

Yes, which is determined by my publisher’s deadline.

How long do you allow to deep edit a complete manuscript?

Never enough time. I always find things to improve even after I think I’ve done deep edit. And even after I’ve submitted the manuscript. That’s why I love getting my editorial letter. It gives me one last chance to add, subtract or modify the manuscript!

2. You convey body language so well on the page. You dig deep, deep deep deep deep deep, deep!

Blog Guests:  Enjoy these examples from CROSSROADS, and the discussion points below.

Example 1:

For now, the blood has to be enough.  It awakens every cell in my body. It revives and restores.  My skin warms. A flush of heat floods my cheeks. My senses become needle sharp.

Margie Asked: What’s your trick? Do you become vampire? ;-)

I DO think like one. Thank Joss Whedon for that!!

Kudos to you for the alliteration in three of those sentences.

It REVIVES and RESTORES.

A FLUSH of heat FLOODS my cheeks.

My SENSES become needle SHARP.

The alliteration speaks to the reader’s subconscious. It contributes to a more compelling read.

Margie Asked:  Do you remember working to get the alliteration right? Or was it a product of your subconscious?

Alliteration comes pretty easily to me. I'm more aware of it now, though.

Strong cadence throughout.  Well done

Example 2:

There’s a shift in the set of his jaw, a flicker of light in his eyes. He’s remembering something. I know it in the way he’s looking at me and I know what it is.

I love the way you SHOW the body language then have Anna Strong INTERPRET with her internalizations. In my EDITS System, that’s what I call Working Yellow, not Yammering Yellow.

The first sentence is a strong example of parallelism.

Margie Asked – Were you aware of how well you balanced the first sentence?

There’s a shift in the set of his jaw, a flicker of light in his eyes.

---There’s a shift in the set of his jaw – 9 beats

---a flicker of light in his eyes – 8 beats

I wish I could say, yes, indeedy!! But truthfully, no. Sometimes I just get it right on the first try.

Example 3:

He leaves looking as dejected now as he looked angry when he came in.

Margie Asked: I love the way you wrote that line. Any idea what triggered that analogy?

I had tried to convey how angry David was when he came in with the way he pushes his way in, no greeting, no small talk, traipses into the kitchen and pours himself a cup of coffee, then gives Anna the look. Since he leaves in almost the opposite way, instead of going into great detail, I let the reader fill in the blanks here.

Smart Jeanne! She tightened and let the power of her fresh analogy carry the message.

Example 4:

He’s got the locked-jaw look of somebody hell-bent on action.

Excellent!  You WOWED me. I’ve never seen the phrase: locked-jaw look. And your cadence drives the reader from the first word to the last.

BLOG GUESTS:  It may look like a simple line, but the writing is as FRESH as it is BRILLIANT.

Margie Asked: How’d you do it?

I know I’m asking you a TOUGH QUESTION. I bet you have a SMART RESPONSE. Hope it’s not just a SMART ASS RESPONSE. ;-))

Me, smart ass? Never. (Ha!) I know I've said it again, but trying to look at reactions in a different way than the norm is beginning to come easier for me now that I feel your gentle (sometimes not so gentle) prodding in my head when I'm tempted to fill in with a cliche.

KUDOS TO JEANNE!  She's avoiding cliches . . . like she'd avoid rattlesnakes.  :-)

How does one look when he's made a decision about something important? His jaw locks, his eyes may narrow, he conveys with a look that he's not going to take Anna's suggestion to leave it alone.

I combined those reactions in twelve words.

Blog Guests:  That's how you become a bestseller. You work harder, dig deeper.

5. Margie Asked: What are some writing tools you learned from me that you feel made a difference in your writing?

Wow—where do I start? You’ve been such a strong influence that I often find myself thinking, how would Margie write this? I use so many of your techniques—backloading, cadence, choreographing a scene to use proxemics to its best advantage. Even when I think I’ve gotten it, you look at my stuff and find ways to work even more magic. It amazes me. I’m always learning from you.

Ah . . . Thank you!  I love your writing. It's my kind of fun to dig deeper and polish and spotlight your diamonds.  :-)

It's so fun to feature you and your talent on my blog today. Thanks for giving me such strong writing!

BLOG GUESTS --

Here's your chance to ask Jeanne questions about her writing, her books, her characters, her kick boxing, her fresh writing, whatever!

Fresh writing is one dynamic that can boost authors onto best-seller lists.

Please post comments. Don't leave without clicking. You may win a copy of CROSSROADS!