Welcome

Rayka Mennen,

author of

ENCHANTED DESTINY

From Rayka Mennen:

Welcome to my world of romance, laughter, magic, and some mayhem. I choose to write romance because I believe. If I’ve failed to see the little fairies dancing under the toadstools, it’s because I wasn’t looking hard enough.

Romance – we encounter it everyday. It’s there, in the sweet curve of a lover’s cheek, in the awkward hug of an undemonstrative husband, in the clasped hands of the elderly couple crossing the street. And if I can infuse a little bit of it into your life – so much the better.

From Margie Lawson:

Rayka is a multi-Margie Grad extraordinaire. She attended her first Immersion Master Class in my Colorado mountaintop home in August, 2010. She and her Immersion group returned to the mountain for an Advanced Immersion class in January, 2011. Rayka is committed to excellence. I'm thrilled to feature her on this blog.

Deep Editing Q & A for Rayka Mennen

1. What’s your writing process?

Pantser? Plotter?

A hybrid – plotser. I usually have a general plot laid out – more recently I’ve been using the W plot format. But then it’s like an after Thanksgiving sale in my head and on the page. Characters rule the day and I fight to keep some semblance of structure.

Dirty first draft? Edit as you go?

I’m really bad about editing as I go, but am I am trying very hard to get out that habit and just write the entire book first.

Do you strive to complete a first draft in a certain time frame?

I have to have deadlines, even if they’re moving ones, or I’ll never get anything done. So yes, I usually plan to have a first draft done by a certain date. And if I get really desperate and things are really slow with my writing, I’ll take a few days off, and either hole up at home or go visit my fabulous CP and hole up in her house, and do a marathon writing session for 4 or 5 days.

How long do you allow for deep editing a complete manuscript?

Ideally, I would like about three weeks. I try to go through the book, looking for different deep editing issues – pink/emotion; green/description, that sort of thing. I find that if I try to do all the deep editing colors at one time, I get overwhelmed and also keep missing things.

2. What are some deep editing tools you learned from me, and how did they make a difference in your writing?

Ahem – how long do I have? LOL. I love all the deep editing tools you showed us. The colors particularly make sense to me and seeing a visual of my scenes with all the colors highlighted brings it all together as a whole in a way that writing and editing scene by scene did not. For example, I write a scene or two or more; edit; read it; edit. I lose the big picture. How is this story flowing for the reader? Is there too much introspection? (those dreaded long yellow passages :o). Too little description or green?

3. BLOG GUESTS: This turning point is a stellar read. Enjoy the story, then read my analysis and my questions for Rayka.

“You deserve to know the truth.” She realized she had to tell him. What he did with the information was his choice. Still, she hesitated. How did she explain?

He leaned forward elbows on his thighs, fingers laced. “What truth?

“Well… ” Her words came slowly, reluctant to open the can of wiggling, doubting worms. “You were right. I did see something.”

He sat up straight. “What did you see?”

“The accident. I saw it happen.”

His lips thinned, his brows shot up. “Of course you saw it happen.

Half a dozen friggin’ people did.”

Argh. Here she went, step one into quicksand. “I saw the accident before it happened.”

“Let me get this straight. You saw the pipes sliding off the trailer before they actually did?”

She nodded, hoping, hoping, hoping he had an open mind about the supernatural.

“What the hell are you playing at? No way you could have known… ” He jumped up and stepped back from her. His expression closed, his gaze hardening. “Is this some sort of setup?”

For a brief second, she mourned the loss of the camaraderie that existed for a few minutes “There’s no setup. I had a vision. I’m… ” She inhaled hard, her breath taking on the consistency of clay in her chest.

“I’m a witch.”

Rayka’s writing is smooth, and it carries a cadence and power that grabs the reader and doesn’t let go. What deep editing techniques did Rayka use to draw the reader deep, deep, deep into her fictional world?

1) Cadence: The full passage is cadence driven.

2) Body Language: Rayka does a good job using body language to convey subtext and proximity.

3) Cliché Play: Her words came slowly, reluctant to open the can of wiggling, doubting worms.

4) Rhetorical Questions

5) Backloading

6) Epizeuxis: Repetition of the same word for impact.

She nodded, hoping, hoping, hoping he had an open mind abou the supernatural.

7) Hidden Simile: She inhaled hard, her breath taking on the consistency of clay in her chest.

Margie Asks Rayka: Was this a tough passage to write? Do you recall how it evolved from first to final passes?

Yes, this wasn’t the easiest passage to write. I had to strike the right note of hesitation from Kat without making her a wimp and the right amount of doubting from Jake without making him a jerk. So, here’s the first version of this passage; you can see how much it changed and for the better:

She pushed the lasagna away and grabbed her diet soda glass.

Give me strength to do this right.

“Well.” Her words came slowly, reluctant to change the tenor of the evening. “You were right. I did see something.”

He sat up straight, and Harlequin dislodged from his lap with a mew. “Oh, sorry cat.”

Turning back to Kat, he asked, “What did you see?”

“The accident. I saw it happen.”

His lips thinned, his brows shooting up. “How in the hell could you have seen it? Some sort of vision?”

For a brief second, she moaned the loss of the camaraderie that existed for a while. “Yes, I did have a vision. I’m…I’m a witch.”

His eyes clouded with uncertainty and he drew back.

What part of that passage makes you the most proud, and why?

I really like: “He leaned forward elbows on his thighs, fingers laced.”

Why? Because I tended to have Jake rake his hands through his hair quite a bit. So when I found another body language/action for him, I was thrilled <grin>

“….. to open the can of wiggling, doubting worms.” And this one. I worked hard to make a play on the original can of worms cliché. I write a cliché and I hear Margie’s voice in my head – the southern belle equivalent of the drill sergeant – cliché alert, cliché alert.

4. Two paragraphs later, here’s his response:

“No, I am not Wiccan. I’m a witch. Big difference.”

His eyes clouded with uncertainty and he stepped back. And back. And not just physically, but in the psychic sense, too. She hadn’t realized until just then how connected she’d been to his emotions.

“A witch? What’s the difference?” His voice, too, rose with each word. His expression hovered between I-think-you’re-a-kook and something else.

Rayka – Your use of proximity rivals Harlan Coben. You showed the proximity, then told it. Perfect!

<Blush>. Now that’s a compliment indeed – thanks Margie.

You know I like hyphenated-run-ons. What prompted you to use a hyphenated-run-on to describe his expression?

I learned the value of the hyphenated run-ons in your IMC sessions. I think they give the author an opportunity to describe something head-on using a pithy expression and without over-explaining. Consider the alternate version to that hyphenated run-on. In my first draft, his reaction read as follows: “His voice rose on the words.” How boring is that?

5. The last question is based on this excerpt:

“Sure,” he drawled in mock agreement. “This is the swampland thing again. Like I said before, I’m not buying. People don’t just have visions about saving someone’s life.”

“Some people do,” she retorted, her mind racing over the different ways she could explain the situation to him.

He shook his head, disbelief patent in his face. “So you make a living doing this kind of thing? Causing accidents, scamming people…I mean if you could do this for people, bet they’d pay well.”

He chuckled again, a mean sound that pushed her patience to its breaking point.

“You think that’s funny? Well, color me a comedian. That vision I had? It was my first. Guess what? In my family, the first vision we have is about the man we’re destined to marry.”

Woohoo! Look at that power backloading!

Margie Asks Rayka: What parts of that excerpt (or the one before it) was tough to write? Why?

Again, this whole scene was difficult because of needing Kat and Jake to be credible in their emotions and yet likable. The first draft of this passage read this way:

DRAFT 1: She should just tell him everything. Doing it in degrees meant more uncertainty and waiting. “There’s more. You see, the women in my family, at least my mother’s side--we have our first clear vision in our twenty-fifth year.”

“Why then?” Jake’s voice carried no expression.

It’s like he’d just gone into a shell. She couldn’t sense his emotions.

“Because the first vision we have is connected with the man we’re destined to marry.”

As I deep-edited, I realized it was boring, boring, boring. People don’t just stand around and have a polite conversation about something earth shattering. Kat was a little too perfect with her patient attitude toward him. After all, she was pretty stunned and upset about this whole vision thing too. So how would she react to his doubting Thomas routine? And Jake wouldn’t stand around as if he was asking about the weather. In my struggle not to make them too mean to each other, and to make them likeable to the reader, I had made them boring. Back loading, using the dialogue cues, helped me pick up the pace and also make their reactions more realistic.

Thank you for hosting me on your blog, Margie. I’d taken several writing and technique classes before but like I said, your Immersion Master Class was truly transformational. I left that mountain top with the tools to become a better writer – better than I have ever been. Here’s to you and IMC. Cheers, Rayka

Rayka - - Thank you!

I'm proud to feature you on the blog today.

BLOG GUESTS:  It's your turn!

Post a comment or question -- or just say Hi! -- and you could win ENCHANTED DESTINY!

See you on the blog!