Welcome

Award Winning Author,

Renee Ryan!

For writing as smooth as it is captivating, read Renee Ryan's books. She draws you into her world and you decide to stay.  ~ Margie Lawson

DANGEROUS ALLIES won the 2011 THE DAPHNE DU MAURIER AWARD FOR EXCELLENCE IN MYSTERY/SUSPENSE, Inspirational Division.

Kudos to Renee Ryan!

Renee Ryan grew up in a Florida beach town where she learned how to surf and skateboard very poorly. As a teenager, she gave up on both pursuits and began entertaining herself during countless hours of "laying-out" by reading all the classics.

With degrees in Economics and Religion, she explored career opportunities at a Florida theme park and a modeling agency. She moved on to teach high school Economics, American Government, and Latin while coaching award-winning cheerleading teams.

Renee sold her first book, EXTREME MEASURES, to Dorchester Publishing by winning the inaugural New Historical Voice Contest in 2002. She sold her first Inspirational manuscript to Love Inspired Historical in 2006. Courting the Enemy is her 9th book.

Excerpt from COURTING THE ENEMY

"My name is Peter Sorensen. I am William Klein's… assistant."

Trent nodded, filing away another valuable piece of information about his adversary. Sorenson's American accent was perfect, too perfect, with the kind of flat Midwestern inflection only language specialists acquired through years of practice.

"Mr. Klein requests a meeting with you."

"Now?"

"Now."

Anger surged at the arrogant assumption he'd simply come along as commanded. It would be easy to match Sorensen's patronizing tone, easier still to allow his annoyance to show.

However, Trent's role as the reckless son of a wealthy American family required a jaded, flippant response. "And if I'm unavailable at the moment?"

"You will make yourself available."

Ah, yes, there it was. The hint of Austria hovering beneath the words, undeniable proof that Sorensen was not the man he pretended to be.

Had the slip been a mistake borne out of frustration? Frustration over Trent's refusal to comply without question? Or perhaps it had been a calculated ploy to draw out his expertise with languages?

"Since you put it that way." He allowed a provoking smile to play at the edges of his mouth. "I'm all enthusiasm."

"You will follow me."

"But of course."

Without speaking further, Sorensen turned on his heel and walked out of the hotel. He did not look back to determine if Trent followed. Nazi arrogance taken to the extreme. If Trent had had any lingering doubts about the man's allegiance, they were gone now.

Once outside, Sorensen maintained his cold silence. He led the way down the busy sidewalk, head held high in military exactness.

Trent drew alongside the man. Still in his role of entitled, wealthy American he pitched his voice to a sarcastic level. "I take it we're walking to our destination?"

"As you can see." Sorensen's abnormally straight posture conveyed a man barely holding onto his patience.

Margie's Deep Editing Analysis

Overall: Lots of white space makes it a fast-paced read. Strong cadence.

"My name is Peter Sorensen. I am William Klein's… assistant."

Trent nodded, filing away another valuable piece of information about his adversary. Sorenson's American accent was perfect, too perfect, with the kind of flat Midwestern inflection only language specialists acquired through years of practice.

Dialogue Cue, amplified, good specificity. Works great to add interest, and as a clue.

"Mr. Klein requests a meeting with you."

"Now?"

"Now."

Quick and clean. :-)

Anger surged at the arrogant assumption he'd simply come along as commanded. It would be easy to match Sorensen's patronizing tone, easier still to allow his annoyance to show.

Power Internalizations work well.

Note the how the parallel structure enhances cadence:  . . . easy to match Sorensen's patronizing tone, easier still to allow his annoyance to show.

However, Trent's role as the reckless son of a wealthy American family required a jaded, flippant response. "And if I'm unavailable at the moment?"

Fun!

"You will make yourself available."

Ah, yes, there it was. The hint of Austria hovering beneath the words, undeniable proof that Sorensen was not the man he pretended to be.

Excellent play on the Dialogue Cue.

Had the slip been a mistake borne out of frustration? Frustration over Trent's refusal to comply without question? Or perhaps it had been a calculated ploy to draw out his expertise with languages?

Love that paragraph! Three rhetorical questions, and one other lesser known rhetorical device. I'm betting my Deep Editing grads recognize the structure, even if they don't remember the name of the RD.

ANADIPLOSIS:  Ending a sentence with a power word, and starting the next sentence with the same power word.

Here's how Renee used anadiplosis: Had the slip been a mistake borne out of frustration? Frustration over Trent's refusal to comply without question?

Here's how Renee COULD HAVE written it:

Had the slip been a mistake borne out of frustration over Trent's refusal to comply without question?

That longer sentence doesn't have the IMPACT of Renee's rhetorically-powered version.

"Since you put it that way." He allowed a provoking smile to play at the edges of his mouth. "I'm all enthusiasm."

"You will follow me."

"But of course."

Good! All the dialogue sounds natural.

Without speaking further, Sorensen turned on his heel and walked out of the hotel. He did not look back to determine if Trent followed. Nazi arrogance taken to the extreme. If Trent had had any lingering doubts about the man's allegiance, they were gone now.

Good for Renee! SHE SHOWED WHAT WASN'T HAPPENING.

I cover that technique in more detail in my Advanced Deep Editing course (offered in November).

Perfect to have Trent use BODY LANGUAGE to assess Sorenson's allegiance. Smart Renee!

Once outside, Sorensen maintained his cold silence. He led the way down the busy sidewalk, head held high in military exactness.

You've got to read that paragraph out loud. Hear that PERFECT CADENCE?

Trent drew alongside the man. Still in his role of entitled, wealthy American he pitched his voice to a sarcastic level. "I take it we're walking to our destination?"

Another Dialogue Cue, and Renee set it up just right. Since it's the POV character thinking about how he'll say his next sentence, the Dialogue Cue precedes the dialogue.

Any other time, the Dialogue Cue follows the dialogue because it has to be heard before we can determine the subtext.

"As you can see." Sorensen's abnormally straight posture conveyed a man barely holding onto his patience.

Ha! Renee used Sorensen's posture to SHOW the reader he's angry. Well done!

Kudos to Renee Ryan. Strong writing!

Deep Editing Q. & A

1. Margie’s Question: What are a few of the writing tools that you learned from me that you feel made a difference in your writing?

One of the best tools I learned from you was the EDITS System, your highlighter-method. If I can’t figure out what’s not working in a scene I get out the highlighters and start marking up the page. This really shows me where I’m overusing some elements and underutilizing others. I tend to go heavy on the narrative in my first drafts. I’ve learned to step back and analyze where I can make my writing fresher. I’ll often rearrange paragraphs for a stronger, overall impact, something I never did prior to your class.

I now look for places where I can punch up my writing with power words and where I can eliminate clichés. I’m also more prone to use visceral reactions instead of “telling” the reader how my character feels. Great stuff, Margie. Really great stuff!

2. The opening of COURTING THE ENEMY grabbed me.

The betrayal came at too high a cost. That was the thought that tormented Savannah Elliott as she stood on the fringes of her own party. After all these months, she still couldn't wrap her brain around what Johnny had done. What he'd taken from her. From them both.

If only she could forgive him. Or at least forget. For this one night Savannah wanted to be free of the sadness, the pain. The guilt.

Yet, no matter how hard she focused, she barely noticed the music, the dancers, the conversations playing around her. Her mind kept racing back to that terrible moment when her world had changed forever. When she had changed forever.

Savannah tried to keep her expression neutral, tried to clear her mind of all thought. The memories came anyway. In hard, brutal snatches that shot through her like well-aimed bullets. Dinner with friends. Johnny unexpectedly arriving at the same restaurant. Another woman on his arm. The car crash. The ensuing scandal. The—

Your first line is dynamite. And you draw us deeper into the story with every subsequent sentence. And sentence frag. :-)

Love those sentence frags. Love your structure. Love your cadence.

BLOG GUESTS: Please read the last paragraph out loud.

Savannah tried to keep her expression neutral, tried to clear her mind of all thought. The memories came anyway. In hard, brutal snatches that shot through her like well-aimed bullets. Dinner with friends. Johnny unexpectedly arriving at the same restaurant. Another woman on his arm. The car crash. The ensuing scandal. The—

See how Renee slipped in backstory? It’s fast-paced. Compelling. It works beautifully. No info dumps. No stalling.

Renee loaded that paragraph with power words and used short sentences and cadence to make it a fast read. Her power words include: hard, brutal, shot, bullets, another woman, crash, scandal. Well done!

Margie’s Question: Was this your first opening? If not, how and why did you change it?

Actually, this opening took a bit of work. I’d originally started the book in the hero’s point of view. But this is the heroine’s story. I realized I needed to present her to the reader first. The challenge was that I’d already published another WWII novel and knew returning readers would expect the same tone. Unfortunately, the stakes aren’t quite as high in this one, at least not at first. So I needed to figure out a way to present the stakes right up front, and I needed to do it from the heroine’s point of view. Since betrayal plays a key role in the story that’s where I decided to start. Once I had that part figured out, the opening line came quickly. The rest flowed from there.

2. I love the way you write flicker-face expressions. They’re as fresh as they are intriguing.

BLOG GUESTS: I coined the term FLICKER FACE EMOTIONS to describe those flashes of different emotions, sometimes contradictory, that people cannot hide. They’re visible micro-expressions. I’ll share examples from DANGEROUS ALLIES (2010) and COURTING THE ENEMY (2011).

From DANGEROUS ALLIES:

Two paragraphs:

The charm was there, urging her into complacency, and yet his eyes were so stark and empty.

For a moment she glimpsed something that looked like despair behind his flawless performance, giving her the impression that this man needed someone to read him, perhaps even to save him.

The opening of Chapter Five, three paragraphs:

Three. Four.

Five.

Jack counted each emotion that flashed in Kerensky’s eyes. Up to this point, she’d proven herself inventive, bold and cunning, all necessary qualities for a spy. But in the soft moonlight, with so many emotions running across her face, she looked fragile, and surprisingly vulnerable.

From COURTING THE ENEMY:

He glanced at her, his expression bland, innocuous and yet so very frightening at the same time.

Five paragraphs:

"Savannah told me about the night her husband died."

A look of surprise crossed the other man's face. "How much did she tell you?"

"Everything, including the part about the other woman on his arm when he first arrived at the restaurant."

A range of emotions crossed Klein's face: bafflement, unease, outrage, and then…nothing.

The man had his emotions back under control.

Margie’s Question: You used flicker face emotions at critical points, and they worked very well. Any idea why you chose to show multiple emotions instead of amplifying one facial expression? Can you share any tips on writing them? Do you put yourself in your POV character’s skin, and imagine the other character’s face?

Ah, excellent questions. When I choose to present multiple emotions over amplifying just one facial expression it’s usually because I’ve put my characters in a really tense situation. At that point I try to remember what I felt when I’d been in a tense situation myself. In every instance a range of emotions rushed through me, if not all at once then in rapid succession. But, of course, I’m not the character. I’m me. So after I’ve analyzed what I would feel I then think about the character in the scene. What would he or she feel and how would that play out inside their heads.

Of course, what a character feels is not the same thing as what he or she shows on their faces. Some characters will show more than others. Some will try to hide their reactions, while others might try to use them to manipulate. In other words, many factors go into what often boils down to a single sentence. My biggest tip would be to know your characters inside and out. And fully understand the situation you’ve just put them in. What is your goal for the scene? What’s at stake? The clearer these elements are in your mind the easier it is to choose the perfect mix of flicker face emotions.

4. Margie’s Question: You did a great job showing the relationship between Savannah and Trent. Given that Courting the Enemy is an inspirational set in 1943, was that a challenge?

Ah, no, not a challenge at all. My father was incredibly helpful throughout the process. Not only is he a WWII veteran, his personal stories brought the time period to life for me. I was also born in the area I set this book. I’ve walked the same streets as Savannah and Trent (and the same beaches). As a final effort to capture authenticity, I immersed myself in 1940s movies and music. What a hardship, huh?

5. Margie’s Last Question: What’s your writing process?

I have a very complicated process I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I plot out my characters first. I have to know who they are and what lies they’re telling themselves before I can figure out what will happen to them. The lesson my main character has to learn becomes the theme of the book. Once I know the theme I’m able to think up the plot. I then write a detailed synopsis and the first three chapters.

Now comes the fun part. I turn off that pesky internal editor and write the rest of the first draft as quickly as possible. Some days I get as many as twenty pages written, some only ten. I don’t make myself crazy, but I do push myself hard. Once I have a first draft finished the real writing begins. I call this stage layering. Margie calls it deep-editing. Same process, different name. :-)

Pantser? Plotter?

Can I say a mixture of both? I character plot, always. I have to know who they are at the beginning of the story and where they’re going to end up. The details of how they get there often change. That’s where the pantser in me takes over.

Dirty first draft? Edit as you go?

Clean proposal, dirty first draft. See my writing process above for details. Amazingly, once I start the layering process I almost always discover the second half of the first draft is cleaner than first. I think it has to do with getting into the zone as a writer, forgetting all about the internal editor, and knowing the characters really well.

Do you strive to complete a first draft in a certain time frame?

The blank page terrifies me. I try to write a first draft within six weeks after sending off a proposal. Within that timeframe I’ve usually heard back from my editor. If changes need to be made, even if they’re drastic, I find it comforting to know I have a lot of pages already complete. Even if I have to take my story in a completely new direction I already know my characters so the changes aren’t all that difficult.

How long do you allow for deep editing a complete manuscript?

I give myself several months. I work in scenes, usually 8-10 page chunks. Depending on how well I laid out the scene this could take three passes, or (gasp) twenty. I know I’m where I need to be when I’m reading through a scene without making any marks. At that point it’s time to send it to my critique partner and move on.

Thank you! I enjoyed learning more about how you deep edit and your writing process. It all must work very well for you!

BLOG GUESTS: It's your turn!

Here's your chance to ask Renee questions about her deep editing, her writing process, her writing world.

Post a question or comment, and you may win a copy of COURTING THE ENEMY!