Pre-Flight Check In: Kick Off Your New Year with DSDB!

Add Power and Take Off with a Deep Editing Analysis: THE SIEGE, Stephen White

Mileage Points - Upgrades: Master Classes, Retreats, Conferences

Want to boost your productivity and creativity?

Start your new year by taking Defeat Self-Defeating Behaviors on-line, January 4 - 29. Learn how to activate your good intentions, play off your strengths, and achieve your goals.

Join me on-line in January -- and I'll help you make 2010 your year for success!

North Texas RWA hosted The Texas Two Step, a dynamite writing conference in November. The weekend events included a reception and dinner on Friday night, my full day Master Class -- and pitch opportunities with Melissa Jeglinski of the Knight Agency and Cori Deyoe of 3 Seas Literary Agency on Saturday -- and another delicious and fun dinner on Saturday night. A big Texas-style THANK YOU! to Angi Platt, Marty Tidwell, Chris Keniston, and all the talented, fun, committed-to-excellence, and amazingly welcoming North Texas RWA members and guests. I enjoyed everyone -- and look forward to seeing them again!

Here are about 20 of the large group crowding in front of the fountain in the hotel.

Here's beautiful and fun-loving thriller writer Kym Roberts.

Here we are at dinner Saturday night at Love and Murder in Texas. The best food and camaraderie in Texas. :-)

THANK YOU again to North Texas RWA. You all hosted an amazing conference weekend!

I also got to see bestselling author Toni McGee Causey in November. Here's a shot of Toni's cool husband Carl, Toni, me, and my cool husband, Tom in our living room.

Toni is one of my favorite fun, intense, and as-outrageously-funny-as-she-is-talented friends. Having a friend like Toni makes me wish Colorado was closer to Louisiana.

January: Portland, Oregon

I'm presenting two editing-loaded days in a Deep Editing Master Class Weekend for published authors (and close-to-being-published) in Portland Oregon. This weekend master class is Sold Out.

KUDOS to Hanna Rhys Barnes!

Hanna Rhys Barnes, author of WIDOW'S PEAK, is the one woman make-it-happen organizer of this Master Class Weekend in Portland. A heartfelt 'Thank You' to Hanna for inviting me to Portland and for coordinating the event. It's a guaranteed power learning weekend!

April: Immersion Master Classes:

I'm offering two Immersion Master Class sessions in the spring, April 15 - 19, May 13 - 17, and two sessions in the fall, September 12 -16, October 7 - 11.

Enrollment is limited to seven per session. The April session has two openings. The May session is FULL.

The September and October sessions each have four openings.

Location: My mountain top home, west of Denver. Participants stay at the nearby lodge. Click here for specifics regarding the lodge and a full description of this intense three-day immersion Master Class on Deep Editing Power.

April: St. Louis, Missouri

Missouri Romance Writers of America is bringing me in to present an extended Master Class on Empowering Characters' Emotions. We'll have a two hour session on Friday, April 23, 7:00 - 9:00PM, plus a full day Master Class, Saturday, April 24, 8:30 - 5:00PM. I'll get to cover more material in this power-packed learning weekend.

Click here to read the course description on MoRWA's website. Thank you.

THE SIEGE, by Stephen White

Stephen White is the NYT bestselling author of sixteen Alan Gregory mystery/thrillers and a stand alone thriller released in 2009, THE SIEGE. White adds power to his plots and writing craft with the skill and expertise of an experienced clinical psychologist, because he is. His latest high-tension thriller elevates readers' blood pressure--and keeps it revved on every page.

"Stephen White continues to be amazing. He is among the best of our contemporary authors laboring in any genre, combining plot, characterization, and excellent, solid storytelling to make each of his works not so much a novel as an event."
— Joe Hartlaub, BookReporter.com

"The unexpected is the norm in this breathless, unconventional, chiller of a story that will stay with you long after the book is closed." ~ Review of THE SIEGE in the Daily Herald

How does Stephen White spear the reader's heart? What's his magic?

The magic is in the expert development and application of all components of a novel--including (but not limited to) plotting, story telling, characters, voice, and writing craft. My expertise is writing craft. But -- I'll share one powerful story telling element Stephen White utilized in THE SIEGE. It's a hostage story, but he didn't write any scenes from the hostage takers POV. He keeps every page suspenseful, because no one knows what's going on in the seemingly impregnable building the hostage takers claimed on the Yale campus. No one knows who may die next, or why. Not the FBI, not the Hostage Response Team, not the hostage negotiator, not Sam Purdy.

Not the reader.

Let's dig in, dig deep, and analyze some lines and a psychologically-powered passage from THE SIEGE.

Example: Description--

He is six-three, two-ten, and looks like he sleeps in a bronze casting of Atlas. He is the star high school quarterback gone good.

Analysis:

Stephen provided a strong visual of this young man. But he avoided a trite description, and had fun with Cliche Play twice. He didn't say he looked like Atlas, but made it more interesting. What if he had quit there? What if he limited his description to one sentence. Read it out loud:

He is six-three, two-ten, and looks like he sleeps in a bronze casting of Atlas.

It needs another sentence for balance. Read the two sentences out loud:

He is six-three, two-ten, and looks like he sleeps in a bronze casting of Atlas. He is the star high school quarterback gone good.

Better cadence. Can you hear it? Have you trained your Cadence Ear?

White also gave the reader a Humor Hit with the Cliche Twist at the end. Most readers would start reading that sentence and anticipate this ending: . . . the high school quarterback gone bad.

The 'gone good' ending provides a surprise. It also reinforces the reader's image of this character as a golden boy. A subconsious association: no harm comes to golden boys.

Example: Proximity --

She stopped and stood maybe ten inches from me. Ann had no trouble with close.

Analysis:

A simple piece. Nothing amazing in those fifteen words. Why did I spotlight them?

Because Stephen White took a basic proximity shift piece and wrote it to avoid overused phrases. deepen characterization, and give the reader another humor hit.

He could have written one of these five invisible lines:

1. Ann stepped closer.

2. Ann moved toward me.

3. Ann closed the distance between us.

4. Ann walked forward until she stood within inches of me.

5. Ann stepped so close I could smell her perfume (hair spray, minty breath . . . ).

Have you read any or all of those five lines, or variations?

Have you written any or all of those five lines, or variations?

Stephen White opted to write fresh, write strong, and add a hint of humor.

Example: Interpreting Physical Responses, Facial Expressions, and Eye Messages from Non-POV Character

Ann didn't have to say a word.

I've been a cop for a long time. The transformation I saw in her face as she processed the first sounds in her ear from the call she'd received on her cell is a thing I've seen on a dozen or so other faces over the years. In the fleeting moment that it takes for life's routine to be replaced by the disarray of despair and for hope to be swapped with horror, the eyes seem to learn the news before the rest of the face suspects a thing.

It's a cascade of anguish as the rumor spreads. The eyes go wide before the brows rise in protest. The corners of the mouth flatten before the cheekbones drop even a millimeter. Tears form before the skin closest to the lips begins to quiver.

ON THE NEXT PAGE:

Ann placed the phone on the table in front of her. When she looked back up at me, I saw sparks of fear and an inclination to cower spilling from her eyes like slag leaching from steel. What was left in her eyes was rage and determination.

ONE PARAGRAPH LATER:

Ann was getting worked like my friend's steel. And like his steel, she was getting stronger.

Analysis:

That's one heck of a mulit-faceted amplified response. It worked for me.

Out of context, I hope you could tell that Ann just learned something on the phone. Something more terrifying than she could instantly process.

Stephen White amplified this passage because it's a turning point. He wanted to spotlight Ann's intense emotional response. He wanted to draw the reader deep into Ann's emotional experience. He wanted the reader to identify with her pain.

What did Stephen White do?

1. He gave the reader specificity. Big time specificity. Along the lines of micro-expressions from the TV show "Lie To Me" specificity.

2. He used rhetorical devices to empower the message and empower the cadence. Parallelism. Alliteration. Similes. Read it out loud. You'll hear the cadence. You'll spot the rhetorical devices.

3. He used Power Words: despair, horror, suspects, anguish, rumor, protest, sparks, fear, cower, rage, determination, tears, quiver, stronger. Fourteen power words in 196 words.

4. He avoided trite and wrote fresh.

5. He provided strong imagery.

6. He took it to my fourth level of Powering Up Emotion. He added emotional impact by giving the reader a Super Empowered passage.

One More Example: Amplified Description --

I thought his voice was tired. Not long-day tired. Long-life tired. I was thinking he was mid-forties.

If he were a used car, he'd be one to be wary of. Body looked okay. But the frame was probably bent. Sheet metal was covered with putty. Seals leaked. Needed rings. Bottom line? He had way more mileage than the odometer revealed.

Analysis:

Stephen had fun sharing the POV character's impressions of this guy through metaphor. Interesting, and effective. The metaphor kept it fresh and fun.

He used epistrophe in the first paragraph. He ended three sentences in a row with tired. Epistrophe is one of the 30+ rhetorical devices I teach in my Deep Editing course and lecture packets.

I consider Stephen White one of the masters of writing craft. I can count on him to write fresh in every area. I can count on him to power up visceral responses, to include powerful nuanced body language and dialogue cues, and to provide me with a galaxy of stellar lines and passages to showcase my teaching points. ;-) I can also count on him to deliver an award-winning read.

You can count on Stephen White's writing too.

The winner of my Deep Editing Analysis Contest for December is Barbara Leland!

Barbara wins one of my six Lecture Packets!

To enter this contest, send me an example of fresh writing from a published author. It could be a facial expression. It could be visceral response. It could be backloading, a SAP, a scene-themed character description, a dialogue cue, one of the thirty-plus rhetorical devices I teach in Deep Editing -- or an example of anything I teach in my editing courses.

E-mail me -- with the example, the author, and the book title. You could be next month's winner!

Coming in January:

The DareDevil Dachshund Contest!

If you know me, you know I like to have fun. I have fun in person, teaching on-line, blogging and guest blogging. Starting in January, I'll have more fun on my web site.

I decided to share my quirky sense of zany -- and offer a monthly DareDevil Dachshund Contest.

HINT: The contest plays off the talent of professional cartoonist, Dana Summers.

And - the contest carries a 'Where's Waldo?' theme. :-)

You're intrigued. Right?

For details on my DareDevil Dachshund Contest, visit my home page on January 1st. I'll share the full DareDevil Dachshund scoop!

My two miniature dachshunds were my inspiration.

Thalia, 13 years old. Experienced at life and experienced at flying. Here's Thalia at the controls of the airplane.

Calypso, 8 weeks young.

Experienced at looking lovable.

More puppy photos on the home page of my web site.

Beware: Cuteness overload!

Do you think your writing group members would like to dig deep into deep editing and learn how to write page turners?

I'm booking full day Master Classes, two-day Weekend Master Classes, and half-day to full-day workshops for retreats and writing conferences. I have three openings in 2010 -- and I'm booking 2011. Feel free to contact me with questions. Thank you.

A Pure Gold Reward is a special way to motivate yourself. It is NOT edible. It is a be-good-to-yourself reward for meeting a writing goal, stetching outside your writing world comfort zone, or celebrating an honor.

Post a Pure Gold Reward on my blog and you could be one of the two writers to win a Lecture Packet during Hanukkah. Enter the drawing by dropping by my blog and sharing an example of a Pure Gold Reward. Post your Pure Gold Reward by midnight, Mountain Time, on December 19th. I'll post the winners on December 20th.

Drop by my blog Dec. 20 - 27 for two more chances to win a Lecture Packet. Maybe you'll be one of the two winners that week!

I wish you all the best of best holidays and the most amazing new year!

All smiles.....................Margie